I wanna know what love is…

Sitting here while I drink my coffee and waiting my ferryboat arrives, I caught myself thinking in how things are going on and feeling a mixture of feelings that I just can’t explain and understand how I put myself into it.
There is a word in Portuguese, that’s actually my favorite word in my native language, the word is “Saudade”, this word describes that nostalgic feeling of missing someone so bad, and it’s kinda sad that there is not a translation to that specif word in English, because I am in love with someone in that language, no, the truth I am in love with someone in a whole different language, you may not understand and if you try the whole situation will ended up with you looking at me in a strange way and calling me crazy, anyway I’m feeeling all that “saudade” but I could never tell this to the one I am in love.
But this is not just about how I’m missing someone so bad that I can see him in all over the places or at least wanting him around, it’s still confusing in how I ended up this way or when I started to fell in love with you and all your perfections and imperfections; I am not quite sure if was when our eyes crossed quickly and for a some reason my empty and hopeless soul has recognized your lost and conflicted one, or if was when we started talking with each other and you let me know the confusing, broken, lost, bitter but with a kindness heart that I have always knew it was there but you have always hide.
In all that time that looks short, but has been more than one year, I unconsciously let you in within my wall, and I feel things in way that I never did before, but just now I realize how scary and confusing it’s all that to me, I still wonder if how logical and real it is, and I ask myself that question every single night but I don’t get any answer, but I smile when I see him, and my heart melts because the way our hands fits beautifully together, and how the silence it is not a bad thing when we are just looking at each other, and even when we are miles apart I still hear his voice and laugh echoing inside my head as if he was here, and then “saudade” strikes and messed up all your mental and sentimental puzzle.
Even so, this completely new, scary, freaky feeling taught me that there are not perfect people in this world, but will have someone that fits perfectly in your disjointed puzzle pieces, and for a some reason after I strangely have known him that empty and lost feeling who has haunted me for years… have finally moved away.
Then is it love I am feeling?
But even if that feeling of unknown persists… I still that kinda like you… But I guess you already know.
Luiza Homrich

Aline Lima

Administradora, 20 anos, apaixonada por moda, muito amor por musica, viciada em seriado, sempre pesquisando o melhor conteúdo pra você leitor ou leitora. Espero que goste desse post, fiz com carinho.

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